I Miss the Day...

Edited: If I said this is just a non-sense post, then I edit it. Actually no. In this post I really want to tell about I miss the day when I spent time with my loveliest people in my life. If only those days could come back again...

But if you don't want to get bored when reading it, then don't read. .

I don't know why my feeling is in a big mess recently. It's unquestionable that my brain also in a big destruction. But don't worry, I'm not a psycho yet. Otherwise, a very normal human being who's been caught in a deep valley called 'confusion and desperation'. (Ohoho don't mind me, I'm just exaggerating  ).

Well, why I titled this post by 'I Miss the Day...'?

It bit brings back memories long time ago when I can't even enjoy that moments again this time. I kind of regretted for not treasuring them wholeheartedly.

I miss the day when my family was complete...

I was born in a small family, consisted of mom, dad, and my older sister who was 12 years older than me. We were not an affluent family, but never felt that we're insufficient. With money limitation, we still overcame it with the precious value called 'family love'. Until I was 12 years old...

Dad left us forever on September 12, 2000. That time I wasn't home. I had my English course, apart kilometers away. Soon as I went back, I found my house full of people and my dad lied down there, stiff and cold. not breathed. I could just stay still, watching him unbelievably. I even hadn't said any mercy to him. That's my biggest regret in my lifetime. If only I could tell him that I love him so much before he passed away...

I miss the day when I spent time with my room-mates and my college friends...

They're more than friends to me, I even consider them as my family. Without them, I wouldn't be survived in that unfamiliar city. With all my regards, I deeply thank to them for our togetherness. I'll never forget the times when we cried together, laugh, and everything. Special thanks to those people bellows...

Hariyati Lubis, more than thousand bunch of thanks I have to say to her. She's my roommates since the first time I entered the college until graduated. Hard to admit to you, but you really helped me a lot, in everything. Even many times I got pissed off with your stances (I'm sure, you did too), but your kindness really meant a lot to me. Thanks for comprehending with my stubbornness, my recklessness, my carelessness, my selfishness, and everything. I've known you only about five years ago, but I feel like you know me better than any of my good friends I have. Sometimes, she was annoying. Yeah, A-N-N-O-Y-I-N-G! She also always made some lame theories about my love life, even the truth was questionable. But so far... really, I miss the day when we're having any random conversations together, having 'Sup Iga', shopping around... and so many things. Oh, and as for my thank, once I wrote about her in one full post, here -> Hariyati Lubis

Dewi Prastiti. She was my classmate and the most patience person I've ever met. She never complained about my selfishness and such. I feel like I could speak to her anything, without any clumsiness. She received me just the way I am. 

Whom should I put in number three? Umm... let me think. Ah yeah, she's Ajeng Akbarini. She's my first friend in my college. She knew that I was such a shy-girl, then she introduced herself to me. 

Nurzaitun Purwasih. She's another my roommates. Even I frequently got into arguments with her (our personality didn't match at all, lol). But anyways, we spent lots of times together. I still remembered the day we got into chaos. We didn't speak each other almost one week. Haha. That's because my stubbornness met your stubbornness and none of use would succumb, so... case closed. Lol.

Sylfana Sectiowati, Yuthiasari Murti, Maria Fatimah. Or rather I called them my friends of crime. Because we used to work together on team in doing many dreadful projects. Thank you so much!

Kalvin Pradana. First time I knew him when I teamed up with him in physics research group since his absent was right before me. We're not really getting along well during the college life, but currently, he's the one whom I frequently talk to compared to others whenever I have a problem. Why? I don't know. I just feel comfort because he never looks down on me, even a once. He also keeps cheering me for getting the suitable job.

Irni Gita Amelia, Erik Doli, and others. Thanks for our togetherness!

I miss the day when I fell in love...

Maybe it's been two years since I fall in love with nobody. I don't know whether my heart gets frozen or whatever. But actually... I really want to feel that way. Feeling my heart beats rapidly, getting nervous and misbehaving in front of him, feeling any warmness in my chest when he showed his affection, getting insane waiting for his call or message...

It seems I still won't let my heart open for somebody. Well... I wish I can overcome it soon and hopefully he will be the last for me. But I'm still too tired to get involved in such a love relationship right now. Lol.

So, thanks to Gerry (initial name though). You're really like lemon tea, sweet and sour. Although eventually we knew that we weren't meant to be. 

I miss the day when everything seemed to be easy for me...

Since I had entered the college, especially begun from doing the final project until now, I've been given so many strength trials by God. Everything seems upside down compared to years and years ago. That time, when I would something to be true, I finally gained it, without putting so much effort. Really, everything seemed to be easy...

I remembered when I did not need to study as harder as my friend to enter the most favorite school in Central Jakarta. Even after the graduation day of my secondary school, I passed the local university entrance exam without studying seriously. Stupidly I chose another college instead, while most of my friends wanted to study at that university which was in top three here. They even called me stupid, idiot, and such. I did not care since it was my life, not theirs.

But now, really, everything seems upside down. I'm in the lowest point of my life now. Everything seems to be difficult. I remembered when I should willingly accept the fate that I couldn't graduate on time. And now... I have some difficulties while looking for the job.

I believe, maybe it's a God's warning for to keep me down to earth. Probably, if I immediately worked on the big company soon as I graduated, I would never change my selfish and conceited mind or such. God wants me to be a better person by cherishing my life more, cherishing people around me, and also strengthening my fragile mind. I put all my trust in God, cuz I know God's the best of everything. Yeah, all I can do is believing God... may God bless me always...

Yeah, I miss those days... but it's not good if I just keep clinging on the past. I have a future that I should think of.