Alice back to the story. This is just another random story of mine. If you think you'll find yourself unsatisfied when reading it, then stop it and close your browser.
I did not know when this warm feeling had started. But what surprising me the most was Dave sit beside me, right beside me. Looking at me with gently puppy eyes. I could feel his sorrow, his loneliness, his confusion. Those eyes... even they looked so suffered, but the warmness cut through my eyes gently. Yeah, they were the eyes of Dave - Dave I used to know years ago.
I stood up and was about to go, because I knew it wouldn't last forever. I had decided since the last time I met him that I would not let my heart in pain anymore. I should let go off Dave forever, I should go away from his life, I should disappear from his memory...
But no matter how much I tried, I always lost. It looked like my heart was still in his side. I could not forget him, I could not erase every single memory of him carved in the deepest heart of mine, and I could not let go off him.
It was such a guilty pleasure. I knew I should not be happy even when Dave was only half meters behind me, but my heart pounded unconsciously. I had to treasure this moment because I knew it would never happen again in my lifetime.
Suddenly Dave wrapped me from behind, very tightly and gently... as if he did not want me to go. I was so surprised but I could not even hide that I was so happy right now. God, please stop the time... let me beside him a little more.
"Wake up, Alice. He's not yours... he's not yours..."
A voice come from my heart reminded me to stop. I knew, I truly knew he was not even mine, but couldn't I stay like this a little while? I desperately ignored it. I would not care about everything. I would not care about his fiancee nor my wounded heart. As long as I could enjoy this moment, I willingly exchange with anything.
"Dave?" a woman voice that came from nowhere suddenly heard. He immediately released me and stayed me away.
Not only Dave who was in a big shock, I was trembling looking what's in front of my eyes. Yeah, the one who called him before was Renata Smith, his fiancee.
I saw him walking towards her and hugged her tightly, very tightly and intimately. I leaned myself on the white wall and slowly tumbled down. Tears rolled down from my eyes. Dave did not even notice me anymore. I even should see the unwanted scene of them; they were kissing each other as if they completely forgot that I was still here, as if the world just made for them.
I hold my chest, it was aching. I deserved this, it was the price I should pay for not listening to my heart's warning. My tears did not seem to dry. I cried in silence, I cried for my stupidity for falling for someone whom I should not.
That painful scene suddenly vanished as the white fluorescence blinded my eyes. I opened my eyes and finally realized that was only... a dream.
I woke from such a long sleep with my breath panting. What I saw before was only a dream - yeah, a dream. I sweated quite a few, feeling my hearts bit rapidly. I accidentally touched my cheek, it was wet. I did not know whether I should feel relieved or anxious. That dream seemed so real.
It had been three months I never dreamed about Dave since our last meeting at his engagement party. We barely had a call for those time beings. It was me who preferred not to get too involved with him. The excuse was simple, I just wanted to neutralize my feeling and heal the open wound. Yeah, I acted too much whenever around him - I was actually a really good actress and he was a very demanding director.
My day was about to begin. As usual, I completely clueless about what should I do everytime I opened my eyes while people started the day with breakfast they ate and hurriedly went to office. More than a year had I been graduated from college, but I still had not gotten any job. It was not like I was too lazy to get the job nor my family was affluent already, my unluckiness - total unluckiness - caused me into the situations. It was even countless how many company had I applied and how many psychology test and interview had I attended. If I was about to list them on my notes, I thought I would find such a long-failure-list. Oh and just so you know, I was not from the affluent family. I only had a working-hard-mom who always pushed herself to fulfill our daily needs while my dad had been passed away eleven years ago.
I found myself really useless. What a useless human being. I was not even able to ease my mom's ordeal instead of always burdening her. Really, I wanted this condition would over soon. But again and again, everytime I had chances to follow the recruitment tests, I always failed in the different phase. What hurting me the most was the latest recruitment process I followed. So it had been my dream company since I was a child. I had been given the chance to take part until the last stage - but I should fail miserably. Now I did not know where to sail my ship again.
My love life was not even better. It looked like my heart still tightly clung to someone I should not love. Yeah, he was Dave, my engaged best friend. What could I expect from someone who was engaged? What could I expect from someone whom his heart not even for me?
I stood up and was about to go, because I knew it wouldn't last forever. I had decided since the last time I met him that I would not let my heart in pain anymore. I should let go off Dave forever, I should go away from his life, I should disappear from his memory...
But no matter how much I tried, I always lost. It looked like my heart was still in his side. I could not forget him, I could not erase every single memory of him carved in the deepest heart of mine, and I could not let go off him.
It was such a guilty pleasure. I knew I should not be happy even when Dave was only half meters behind me, but my heart pounded unconsciously. I had to treasure this moment because I knew it would never happen again in my lifetime.
Suddenly Dave wrapped me from behind, very tightly and gently... as if he did not want me to go. I was so surprised but I could not even hide that I was so happy right now. God, please stop the time... let me beside him a little more.
"Wake up, Alice. He's not yours... he's not yours..."
A voice come from my heart reminded me to stop. I knew, I truly knew he was not even mine, but couldn't I stay like this a little while? I desperately ignored it. I would not care about everything. I would not care about his fiancee nor my wounded heart. As long as I could enjoy this moment, I willingly exchange with anything.
"Dave?" a woman voice that came from nowhere suddenly heard. He immediately released me and stayed me away.
Not only Dave who was in a big shock, I was trembling looking what's in front of my eyes. Yeah, the one who called him before was Renata Smith, his fiancee.
I saw him walking towards her and hugged her tightly, very tightly and intimately. I leaned myself on the white wall and slowly tumbled down. Tears rolled down from my eyes. Dave did not even notice me anymore. I even should see the unwanted scene of them; they were kissing each other as if they completely forgot that I was still here, as if the world just made for them.
I hold my chest, it was aching. I deserved this, it was the price I should pay for not listening to my heart's warning. My tears did not seem to dry. I cried in silence, I cried for my stupidity for falling for someone whom I should not.
That painful scene suddenly vanished as the white fluorescence blinded my eyes. I opened my eyes and finally realized that was only... a dream.
I woke from such a long sleep with my breath panting. What I saw before was only a dream - yeah, a dream. I sweated quite a few, feeling my hearts bit rapidly. I accidentally touched my cheek, it was wet. I did not know whether I should feel relieved or anxious. That dream seemed so real.
It had been three months I never dreamed about Dave since our last meeting at his engagement party. We barely had a call for those time beings. It was me who preferred not to get too involved with him. The excuse was simple, I just wanted to neutralize my feeling and heal the open wound. Yeah, I acted too much whenever around him - I was actually a really good actress and he was a very demanding director.
My day was about to begin. As usual, I completely clueless about what should I do everytime I opened my eyes while people started the day with breakfast they ate and hurriedly went to office. More than a year had I been graduated from college, but I still had not gotten any job. It was not like I was too lazy to get the job nor my family was affluent already, my unluckiness - total unluckiness - caused me into the situations. It was even countless how many company had I applied and how many psychology test and interview had I attended. If I was about to list them on my notes, I thought I would find such a long-failure-list. Oh and just so you know, I was not from the affluent family. I only had a working-hard-mom who always pushed herself to fulfill our daily needs while my dad had been passed away eleven years ago.
I found myself really useless. What a useless human being. I was not even able to ease my mom's ordeal instead of always burdening her. Really, I wanted this condition would over soon. But again and again, everytime I had chances to follow the recruitment tests, I always failed in the different phase. What hurting me the most was the latest recruitment process I followed. So it had been my dream company since I was a child. I had been given the chance to take part until the last stage - but I should fail miserably. Now I did not know where to sail my ship again.
My love life was not even better. It looked like my heart still tightly clung to someone I should not love. Yeah, he was Dave, my engaged best friend. What could I expect from someone who was engaged? What could I expect from someone whom his heart not even for me?
I saw myself on the mirror. I barely knew who was the girl who stared back at me? A woman whose eyes lost the light of hope. She looked unbelievably pathetic and thinner with eye bags clearly seen on her face.
"Is it really me? How creepy..." I asked to myself. I barely watched my appearances recently since that harsh rejection from that company. "How can I even get a boy friend of I stay like this?"
Actually I did not even care about boys things lately.
(to be continued)
"Is it really me? How creepy..." I asked to myself. I barely watched my appearances recently since that harsh rejection from that company. "How can I even get a boy friend of I stay like this?"
Actually I did not even care about boys things lately.
(to be continued)
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