Inspired from my boredom, weariness, and whatsoever, I decided to make short spoiler of my unfinished novel (yeah I've adjudicated NOT to finish that suck story anymore since the reality turned into the reverse, unexpectedly).
Well, as for the title, it's bit weird if I said a rendezvous to be happening accidentally. Maybe I should write 'Unwanted Rendezvous' or 'Unpleasant Reunion' or whatnot. But I'm not going to change it though. Just read and hope you enjoy.
Cast: Alice Woods, Hanny McKinsy, Clay Hudson, David Forests, Renata Smith, etc.
Friday, June 25
It's not just like myself spending lots of money only for shopping either buying some shoes or dress. But since all my dress party are not properly-worn, I decided to buy a new one. Boisterousness at the public place was something I hated, many people passed by, some held their children's hand tightly to not get apart. Oh, seriously, I couldn't stop wondering why people willingly to involve in this craziness, spending lots of money for the unworthy things.
We were now in a such modern boutique in one of most crowded shopping mall in Massachusetts. I stood on the bamboo seat which that boutique owned. Ah really, I couldn't get deal with this sort of thing.
"Hey, have you decided yet which one you outta buy?" Hanny, my best-evil-friend suddenly sit right beside me and put out her mineral water and drank it till run out.
My eyes were busy glancing at so many weird- I meant nice dresses all over this place, still thinking, were they worth enough to buy while the price was kinda unfriendly for me?
"Should I buy one of them?" my question maybe was the most annoying question for Hanny who had been accompanying me rounding this oh-so-damn-huge public shopping center for two hours, but still we had not gotten anything yet.
"Sheesh... you're gonna kill me huh? You're gonna make my attempt for patiently accompanying you to no avail?" she increased her tone. No wonder she was indignant.
"Ahaha~ kidding, Dear. Yeah, I'll buy it. I'll go looking for the cheapest and nicest one," I awoke from my sitting place and started choosing which one suited me the most without hearing Hanny's complaining about my previous annoying statement.
Actually I never really had problems when choosing the clothe thing, yeah even I was not too skinny, but I was still categorized in proper body weight. Besides, my skin color was not really dark either, so any color or even any design of clothing might suit me as well. The only problem, I was a considerate person, so when deciding to buy something, the benefit should be more than the cost itself.
The gowns sold here were not bad at all, they looked good instead. After considering the design and the price, I finally chose a simple yet elegant sleeveless pink-lilac long gown with little adornment along the V cuts. The price was reasonable enough and I was lucky to find this expensive-like gown with lower price.
"How's your opinion?" I showed that off to the exhausting Hanny who currently playing her cellphone due to boredom.
She looked at glance. "Not bad, it suits you as well. Is the price considerable?"
"Of course, that's why I choose it."
"Then just pay it immediately and we'll go for food. I'm quite starving and thirsty," her voice indicated impatience. Well she was always like that when turned hungry.
"Roger."
Without hesitation, I immediately paid the this gown. Ah, but from somewhere in mind, I did not feel like I consented buying it. Soon after the shop keeper wrapped it up for me, we left this boutique towards the food court.
"You seriously will come tomorrow?" Hanny asked with mouth full of spicy spaghetti cheese when we were at Italian fast food restaurant. "Are you sure everything will be okay?"
I did not immediately respond to her question. I seemed to enjoy the lasagna I ate, but actually I lost my appetite since she opened that annoying conversation. I slurped a glass of sour lemon tea through the straw and sighed my breath a little.
"Don't worry, I've thought of this since millions years ago~" I tried to laugh, but everyone including Hanny knew that I was not good at lying. My eyes always told the truth. "Besides... it's no fair for him if I'm deliberately not coming to his special day. I must not let my ego get in the way."
"Hmm... if you thought so, then I have no right to impede you," she muttered with one hand holding the fork, twisting spaghetti on it, and finally eating it. "So, you'll come with Clay?"
"Yeah, probably. If only you'd come tomorrow..."
Tomorrow was a special day for my long-time-no-see best friend, David Forests or I used to call him Dave. It had been years I did not meet him again after graduating from college. He was my best friend, someone whom I trusted the most. He always supported me, gave me strength in time of difficulties when doing final project. Tears, laughter, and everything we used to share together. Unconsciously he became one of my precious person in life.
I should be happy when hearing his eventual engagement. I should congrats him. But I did not know why an uneasiness suddenly came into my heart. I tried hard to ignore every possibilities about falling for him. Yeah, I would never ever fallen for him. Was it really like that?
Saturday, June 26
Clay and two others - Andrew and Dennis - picked me up at my house. With half-certainty, I stepped on Clay's car and sit at the back seat, along with Andrew. Dennis, Clay's and Dave's best friend, who had such a well-grown-up body or rather bit overweight. His words sometimes harsh, but actually he was a kind human being. Andrew, the opposite of Dennis in body size which had a thin body and shorter than the other two, was also a good friend. He was the most caring person among the others, especially to women. That's not like he was a womanizer.
"Wah, nice dress, Al!" Andrew said. "I thought you were tomboyish."
He laughed and I had no option but to do it anyway. The other two also commented about my unusual clothing style. Maybe I just looked so quirk by wearing this peculiar gown that made me so womanly.
Oh well, now we were laughing together, but I did not know what would happen in couple of hours ahead. Would it turn out a good thing or bad thing instead?
Oh well, now we were laughing together, but I did not know what would happen in couple of hours ahead. Would it turn out a good thing or bad thing instead?
Seriously I really had no idea how to describe my feeling right now. Happy, anxious, uneasy, and whatnot mingled in me. My stomach was rather in pain, my heart beat unpleasantly. Swear, I really hated myself this way. Easy Al, you just would meet your long-time-no-see-friend, not a monster, see? You should relax a little bit. I painstakingly took my breath in and exhaled it as well without a good rhyme. I put out my utmost strength to prevent me from passing out in any moments due to this unpleasant feeling.
Rain fell down during our way to the engagement party. Was it sign of sadness? Ah, I did not believe with those kind of things. But I felt the sky was crying from loneliness. The sound of thunder as if splitting the world into two. Were they crying for me? Were they crying for reminding me not to come?
Clay drove his car at full speed. He did not even care to the splash of muds smearing the outer body of his car. Dennis hum a tone softly while Andrew sang along to the playing song. I kept silent, just looking at foggy street through the car window, leaning my head on it. The melodious rhythm from the car tape made my eyes no longer opened. Slowly and slowly...
Clay drove his car at full speed. He did not even care to the splash of muds smearing the outer body of his car. Dennis hum a tone softly while Andrew sang along to the playing song. I kept silent, just looking at foggy street through the car window, leaning my head on it. The melodious rhythm from the car tape made my eyes no longer opened. Slowly and slowly...
* * *
"Al, Al, wake up!"
Someone seemed to call my name. I slowly opened my eyes uncertain while collecting my pieces of scattered soul.
"We've arrived already."
I saw vaguely Clay shook my right arms. I suddenly opened my eyes in surprise. "We arrive?"
"Geez, you slept during the journey back then..." he murmured.
My head got dizzy from that sudden sleep-interruption. I accustomed my eyes from the dazzling sunlight coming through the window glass. Slowly I went out of the car and join them waiting outside.
"You're sober huh?" Dennis teased.
"I guess I am," I shortly replied and smiled apathetically.
"Let's go," Andrew lead our way entering that white round building.
Again, I felt kind of uneasiness as if I would like enter the human slaughtering place. Breathing in, breathing out, trying to calming down myself. If I had to choose, I would rather went back to home than keep walking towards the building.
"Hey, what's up to you all of sudden?" Dennis pushed my back slowly indicating that I should not stand still in place. "C'mon, we won't get any special cuisine if we're coming late!"
"Geez... there's nothing in your head besides eating, dude?" Andrew asked mockingly and we then all laughed.
"You leave the bouquet, Al?" Clay asked.
"Ah. Yeah, I left it in your car."
It was just an engagement party, but the party itself was rather than a bit lavish. I surely knew that Dave came from affluent family, so did his fiancée. We walked through the long dish tables where various cuisines placed on top of them. Clay and me walked together while Andrew and Dennis were walking in front of us. I finally could see Dave clearly from afar. He was standing side to side with a white dressed woman which no other than his fiancée. I saw them smiling happily every time the guests congratulated them. Perfect couple. They were all perfect just the way the are, as if they completed each other.
I suddenly stopped my steps. Gulped. I was thinking about running away from this building or teleporting to a place where no one could reach out before I should see them closely, before I should willingly shake their hands and congratulate, and before he noticed that I came along...
"What are you thinking of, Al? Let's go, Dave is waiting for us!" Clay abruptly pulled my left waist and brought me to an unwanted place.
My right hand still tightly gripped a bouquet of miscellaneous flowers. Unexpectedly shaking. He was looking at me now and I immediately gave the beautiful bouquet to him. Well, I should gave it to Renata, his fiancee, but she was too busy talking with Clay and the other two.
"Congratulation," I whispered carefully in order not to mislead smile with tears. "I'm happy for you."
Trying hard to hold back the tears from falling and ignoring how hurt my heart this time, I gave my best smile to him. I did not know whether my acting skill would work or fail as usual, but I tried the best I could
"Thanks," he smiled too. "And thanks for coming."
"Hey, how could I possibly not come to your special day!" actually I just tried to cheer myself up. "You're lucky, Dave, getting a beautiful fiancee."
He laughed a little. "And the next turn is yours, right?"
I smiled wryly. "My engagement you meant? Still years and years to go... I haven't been thinking about that yet."
"You have to, Al, or else-"
"Dave, please. Don't talk about my hopeless relationship anymore."
He laughed. I did not know whether he was mocking me or just feeling pathetic of my always-single status. Sometimes I really wanted to stuff his mouth for saying that.
I did not say anything but looking at him, glaring at his eyes intently. So many words I wanted to say but they were just left unspoken. If only he could understand what I really wanted to say without saying a single word.
Dave did it too. He was looking at my eyes. I did not know why was he doing that? Or maybe he also wanted to say a thing to me?
Another guest couple came near Dave and I suddenly realized that I was in engagement party now, not in a place which only for me and him.
"Ah, well, I guess I have to go... I'll have a cuisine," I looked away from him and smiled to Renata. "Congrats, Renata! Wish you both happily ever after!"
She thanked and hugged me as well. She's the girl whom Dave respected. She's the girl whom Dave have a faith, and she's the girl whom Dave loved.
"Hey, Al!" suddenly Dave called me when I was about to join Clay and the others. "I'll see you guys, later. Don't go home before that please." I just gave him a quick smile and went away.
Truth be told, I just did not want to be here anymore.
Truth be told, I really wished I could disappear like a fog.
Truth be told, I was not ready to know the truth about my feeling.
"Crazy! This black pepper meat is the best one!" Dennis eagerly spooned his meal in one breath as if he would die minute ahead.
"This is your fifth plate, Deny. Stop eating or your stomach will be in pain." I said viciously while eating fruit cocktail in the crystal glass. My appetite was lost due to unpleasant feeling I held.
"So mean!" he crankily mumbled.
"You barely eat anything. Are you alright, Al?" Andrew looked at me anxiously.
"Perfectly," smiling, I said a lie again.
"I thought you lost your appetite because of Dave," Clay teased me with oh-so-damn-right guess.
"Why should I?" I evaded looking at his eyes because he soon would see that I was lying.
"After all you and Dave were inseparable for one year, you totally don't have special feeling to him?" Andrew mockingly implied.
"Oh, please stop, you two. Stop that non-sense already," I acted like I did not care even a little bit. But they just laughed away as they pleased.
"Oh, no, Alice is blushing now..." Dennis made everything worse.
Oh crap. What's with those three suddenly making fun of me?
"Seriously I will kill all of you if you don't shut your mouth immediately," such a soft threat would not work on them, I thought. Too bad, they just did not listen to me instead of laughing anyway.
"Hey, looks like you're having so much fun. May us join?" suddenly a guy voice that came from nowhere approaching us. Dave came, along with his fiancee.
"Oh, Dave!" Clay shouted. "The dishes are great! Really,"
"Thanks," Renata smiled, still in her white dress with flowers pattern on it. It suited her since she had light skin color.
"Oh I really miss you guys!" Dave said happily while punching Dennis' upper left arm. I could see clearly his left hand embraced his fiancée tightly. Honestly, those scenes kind of irritated me.
"Been so long we didn't meet each other, right?" Andrew implied. "I never supposed you two engage this fast,"
"Then when will the marriage be happening?" Dennis asked while slurping a glass of red syrup.
I saw at glance to the two-lovely-dovey, they smiled after hearing Dennis question. Renata even couldn't hide her blushing cheek.
"As soon as she gets ready," Dave held his fiancee more tightly, as if he did not want her to fly by.
Please. Couldn't you let go off your hand from her, Dave?
"Ah, it actually depends on him," Renata denied his words. She gave a glass of orange juice to him tenderly.
I swore I could not bear this scene anymore. I did not know what was happening inside my heart, but that uneasiness worsened.
"Umm... I'll take some dessert a while," I politely excused to them, of course with such a happy face - at least I tried to keep my Poker Face as long as I could.
"Mind getting me some?" Clay asked.
"Of course not, I'll bring it for you too. And you guys?"
"Yeah, we do!"
Without glancing at Dave and Renata even a blink of an eye, I hurriedly walked to the dessert stands. I took a breath deeply and exhaled it strongly. Holding my chest and feeling my heart ached.
Why I had to run away? Why I didn't like seeing you with your girl?
Was I jealous? Had I already fallen for you?
I was so grateful there weren't so many guests around here, so even I acted peculiarly like shedding tears, no one would notice. This spot was about ten meters away from where Clay and the others chitchatting.
I took a knife and carefully cut chocolate pudding. Trying hard to ignore how painful my heart was. I poured four slices of chocolate pudding with vanilla sauce.
Suddenly my vision got blurry and I started to feel my tears rolled down from my eyes. I did not want to cry, I did not want to cry. But the more I begged, the more tears I shed. The only thing I wished right now was no one coming to see me or I vanished from this hubbub.
Not granted. Someone suddenly poked me from behind. I jumped in a big panic and immediately wiped my tears, then looked at that sudden someone.
What's surprising me the most was when I turned my face away to back, Dave was there.
"What took you so long? It's more than quarter hours you don't come back,"
"D-Dave?" I furiously hid my shocking face and tried to set off my Poker Face, hoping it would be successful. "You don't have to come here right?"
Without listening to my question, he took a small plate and put the pudding on it. "Wow, this one is good!"
I really hated his careless behavior by not paying attention to my words. "I'm done. C'mon, it's not a good idea if your guest seeing you with another girl in your engagement party."
I was ready to leave but he pulled my arm, prevented me from stepping my shoes ahead.
"Don't go..." he begged. "We haven't talked much today..."
I closed my eyes, but then opened them again seconds ahead. Stop playing with my heart, Dave. You make me even suffered...
"Ah yeah-" striving hard to stay cool as I could. "But I don't have many words to tell..."
"You're lying."
I surprised, but I kept my face calmed and expressionless. "I'm lying?"
"I can see through your eyes, you have much to say..."
Exactly, Dave. As usual, you never failed guessing what's inside my mind.
"But indeed no. Let's go, Dave. Renata will question us if we take too long together here." I turned my back away, but again, he prevented me from going. I saw his face in surprise a little.
"Are you crying?"
I was shockingly aghast and promptly touch my wet cheek. I did not realized when did the tears come out from my eyes? Didn't I already wipe it perfectly?
"Crying? Why should I cry?" still, I tried to be a true hypocrite. "Oh, it's just sweat,"
Idiot answer. How could someone sweaty in this cold air-conditioned room?
"Answer me." it didn't need a genius mind to know that I was lying.
I sighed. "I'm fine. Perfectly fine."
"Say something, Al. Please."
"Don't act like a kid, Dave. You don't have to beg me for that."
I gritted my front teeth, holding back this overflowed feeling.
"You're not jealous, aren't you?" his question shocked me the most.
'"Of course not! Hey! Sorry, Dave, I'm going now."
I walked away ignoring him. With four plates of pudding, I slowly held them tightly. I was not sure but he seemed following me from behind. I saved from forceful sudden confession.
"Hey, what's up to you all of sudden?" Dennis pushed my back slowly indicating that I should not stand still in place. "C'mon, we won't get any special cuisine if we're coming late!"
"Geez... there's nothing in your head besides eating, dude?" Andrew asked mockingly and we then all laughed.
"You leave the bouquet, Al?" Clay asked.
"Ah. Yeah, I left it in your car."
It was just an engagement party, but the party itself was rather than a bit lavish. I surely knew that Dave came from affluent family, so did his fiancée. We walked through the long dish tables where various cuisines placed on top of them. Clay and me walked together while Andrew and Dennis were walking in front of us. I finally could see Dave clearly from afar. He was standing side to side with a white dressed woman which no other than his fiancée. I saw them smiling happily every time the guests congratulated them. Perfect couple. They were all perfect just the way the are, as if they completed each other.
I suddenly stopped my steps. Gulped. I was thinking about running away from this building or teleporting to a place where no one could reach out before I should see them closely, before I should willingly shake their hands and congratulate, and before he noticed that I came along...
"What are you thinking of, Al? Let's go, Dave is waiting for us!" Clay abruptly pulled my left waist and brought me to an unwanted place.
My right hand still tightly gripped a bouquet of miscellaneous flowers. Unexpectedly shaking. He was looking at me now and I immediately gave the beautiful bouquet to him. Well, I should gave it to Renata, his fiancee, but she was too busy talking with Clay and the other two.
"Congratulation," I whispered carefully in order not to mislead smile with tears. "I'm happy for you."
Trying hard to hold back the tears from falling and ignoring how hurt my heart this time, I gave my best smile to him. I did not know whether my acting skill would work or fail as usual, but I tried the best I could
"Thanks," he smiled too. "And thanks for coming."
"Hey, how could I possibly not come to your special day!" actually I just tried to cheer myself up. "You're lucky, Dave, getting a beautiful fiancee."
He laughed a little. "And the next turn is yours, right?"
I smiled wryly. "My engagement you meant? Still years and years to go... I haven't been thinking about that yet."
"You have to, Al, or else-"
"Dave, please. Don't talk about my hopeless relationship anymore."
He laughed. I did not know whether he was mocking me or just feeling pathetic of my always-single status. Sometimes I really wanted to stuff his mouth for saying that.
I did not say anything but looking at him, glaring at his eyes intently. So many words I wanted to say but they were just left unspoken. If only he could understand what I really wanted to say without saying a single word.
Dave did it too. He was looking at my eyes. I did not know why was he doing that? Or maybe he also wanted to say a thing to me?
Another guest couple came near Dave and I suddenly realized that I was in engagement party now, not in a place which only for me and him.
"Ah, well, I guess I have to go... I'll have a cuisine," I looked away from him and smiled to Renata. "Congrats, Renata! Wish you both happily ever after!"
She thanked and hugged me as well. She's the girl whom Dave respected. She's the girl whom Dave have a faith, and she's the girl whom Dave loved.
"Hey, Al!" suddenly Dave called me when I was about to join Clay and the others. "I'll see you guys, later. Don't go home before that please." I just gave him a quick smile and went away.
Truth be told, I just did not want to be here anymore.
Truth be told, I really wished I could disappear like a fog.
Truth be told, I was not ready to know the truth about my feeling.
"Crazy! This black pepper meat is the best one!" Dennis eagerly spooned his meal in one breath as if he would die minute ahead.
"This is your fifth plate, Deny. Stop eating or your stomach will be in pain." I said viciously while eating fruit cocktail in the crystal glass. My appetite was lost due to unpleasant feeling I held.
"So mean!" he crankily mumbled.
"You barely eat anything. Are you alright, Al?" Andrew looked at me anxiously.
"Perfectly," smiling, I said a lie again.
"I thought you lost your appetite because of Dave," Clay teased me with oh-so-damn-right guess.
"Why should I?" I evaded looking at his eyes because he soon would see that I was lying.
"After all you and Dave were inseparable for one year, you totally don't have special feeling to him?" Andrew mockingly implied.
"Oh, please stop, you two. Stop that non-sense already," I acted like I did not care even a little bit. But they just laughed away as they pleased.
"Oh, no, Alice is blushing now..." Dennis made everything worse.
Oh crap. What's with those three suddenly making fun of me?
"Seriously I will kill all of you if you don't shut your mouth immediately," such a soft threat would not work on them, I thought. Too bad, they just did not listen to me instead of laughing anyway.
"Hey, looks like you're having so much fun. May us join?" suddenly a guy voice that came from nowhere approaching us. Dave came, along with his fiancee.
"Oh, Dave!" Clay shouted. "The dishes are great! Really,"
"Thanks," Renata smiled, still in her white dress with flowers pattern on it. It suited her since she had light skin color.
"Oh I really miss you guys!" Dave said happily while punching Dennis' upper left arm. I could see clearly his left hand embraced his fiancée tightly. Honestly, those scenes kind of irritated me.
"Been so long we didn't meet each other, right?" Andrew implied. "I never supposed you two engage this fast,"
"Then when will the marriage be happening?" Dennis asked while slurping a glass of red syrup.
I saw at glance to the two-lovely-dovey, they smiled after hearing Dennis question. Renata even couldn't hide her blushing cheek.
"As soon as she gets ready," Dave held his fiancee more tightly, as if he did not want her to fly by.
Please. Couldn't you let go off your hand from her, Dave?
"Ah, it actually depends on him," Renata denied his words. She gave a glass of orange juice to him tenderly.
I swore I could not bear this scene anymore. I did not know what was happening inside my heart, but that uneasiness worsened.
"Umm... I'll take some dessert a while," I politely excused to them, of course with such a happy face - at least I tried to keep my Poker Face as long as I could.
"Mind getting me some?" Clay asked.
"Of course not, I'll bring it for you too. And you guys?"
"Yeah, we do!"
Without glancing at Dave and Renata even a blink of an eye, I hurriedly walked to the dessert stands. I took a breath deeply and exhaled it strongly. Holding my chest and feeling my heart ached.
Why I had to run away? Why I didn't like seeing you with your girl?
Was I jealous? Had I already fallen for you?
I was so grateful there weren't so many guests around here, so even I acted peculiarly like shedding tears, no one would notice. This spot was about ten meters away from where Clay and the others chitchatting.
I took a knife and carefully cut chocolate pudding. Trying hard to ignore how painful my heart was. I poured four slices of chocolate pudding with vanilla sauce.
Suddenly my vision got blurry and I started to feel my tears rolled down from my eyes. I did not want to cry, I did not want to cry. But the more I begged, the more tears I shed. The only thing I wished right now was no one coming to see me or I vanished from this hubbub.
Not granted. Someone suddenly poked me from behind. I jumped in a big panic and immediately wiped my tears, then looked at that sudden someone.
What's surprising me the most was when I turned my face away to back, Dave was there.
"What took you so long? It's more than quarter hours you don't come back,"
"D-Dave?" I furiously hid my shocking face and tried to set off my Poker Face, hoping it would be successful. "You don't have to come here right?"
Without listening to my question, he took a small plate and put the pudding on it. "Wow, this one is good!"
I really hated his careless behavior by not paying attention to my words. "I'm done. C'mon, it's not a good idea if your guest seeing you with another girl in your engagement party."
I was ready to leave but he pulled my arm, prevented me from stepping my shoes ahead.
"Don't go..." he begged. "We haven't talked much today..."
I closed my eyes, but then opened them again seconds ahead. Stop playing with my heart, Dave. You make me even suffered...
"Ah yeah-" striving hard to stay cool as I could. "But I don't have many words to tell..."
"You're lying."
I surprised, but I kept my face calmed and expressionless. "I'm lying?"
"I can see through your eyes, you have much to say..."
Exactly, Dave. As usual, you never failed guessing what's inside my mind.
"But indeed no. Let's go, Dave. Renata will question us if we take too long together here." I turned my back away, but again, he prevented me from going. I saw his face in surprise a little.
"Are you crying?"
I was shockingly aghast and promptly touch my wet cheek. I did not realized when did the tears come out from my eyes? Didn't I already wipe it perfectly?
"Crying? Why should I cry?" still, I tried to be a true hypocrite. "Oh, it's just sweat,"
Idiot answer. How could someone sweaty in this cold air-conditioned room?
"Answer me." it didn't need a genius mind to know that I was lying.
I sighed. "I'm fine. Perfectly fine."
"Say something, Al. Please."
"Don't act like a kid, Dave. You don't have to beg me for that."
I gritted my front teeth, holding back this overflowed feeling.
"You're not jealous, aren't you?" his question shocked me the most.
'"Of course not! Hey! Sorry, Dave, I'm going now."
I walked away ignoring him. With four plates of pudding, I slowly held them tightly. I was not sure but he seemed following me from behind. I saved from forceful sudden confession.
* * *
Sunday, June 27
The party was over finally. It's been a day since that unpleasant incidental rendezvous, but my mind still clearly remembered about what had happened last night.
I got myself busy by cleaning up my messy and dusty room so I could forget that irksome stuff. But my head was aching and needing some rest. I leaned my head on chair and closed eyes.
Please, please... I didn't want that thing ruined my day...
With my eyes closed, I could feel the soft breezes stroked my face, peacefully. I suddenly remembered the memory I'd been spent with Dave, a year ago. I remembered how we first became friend, shared many things together until we became best friend. He was the one who always on my side whenever I was down and he was the one I could really unmasked myself.
It was painful. Really painful. How could I possibly lose you when you're not even mine? I swore, I never asked for this feeling. It was really driving me nuts. But I had no control of my heart, it moved freely as it pleased.
Had I really fallen for him?
Suddenly I woke up from the long reverie because my phone was ringing. I took it immediately and saw the caller ID. David James Forests.
My finger wanted to press the red button to reject the phone call, but wouldn't it get worsen if I kept dodging him? After some consideration, I eventually picked the phone call up.
"Hi, Dave..." I greeted apathetically. My fingers abruptly trembled in shiver. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing. How are you doing?"
"Hey, didn't we just meet yesterday? What do you mean by 'how are you doing'?" I tried to hold back the tears.
"Yeah. Actually... Al, I have one question for you, please answer honestly." he said straightforwardly to the core that made me in a big shock.
I tried to calm myself, slowly inhaled and let the air get into my lungs. I didn't want Dave knew my anxiety. "What is that?"
I could clearly hear him breathing. "What am I to you?"
He asked in a very low tone but that's enough making me got a sudden heart attack. "Y-you're my best friend. It's obvious right?"
"Al, please. I want you to be honest this time. You hate lying person right?"
Suddenly I could feel my head empty. What should I do? What should I say?
"Hey, who was lying? I'm telling you the truth... you are my best friend, not my enemy."
"Yeah, I know you're not lying. But... why don't I feel that way?"
Please my eyes, hold on. "Then, what do you want me to say? You want me to say that I love you? Like that? Oh Dave, you're so childish."
"I know, I totally know that I'm childish. I'm immature or whatever. I just want to know what's inside your heart."
Closing my eyes deliberately, I inhaled as much as I could. About three minutes I did not speak anything but then I opened my mouth. "Okay, well. Just in case you get the answer, what will you do?"
He barely spoke anything for two minutes. "Nothing..."
"Well, case closed. Can we continue our conversation later? I have to go now," again, I lied. Seriously I really wanted this conversation to end.
"Have you ever fallen for me?"
That quick question eventually came out from Dave's mouth. I was aghast but so grateful that he only asked by phone, so he couldn't see my expression.
"Stupid question. Why should I fall for you?" I evaded. I didn't know how long my defense would work.
"You don't answer."
"Dave, can you please stop this joke?"
"I'm not joking. Answer me."
Face palmed. I had no idea what to do. Just pressed the red button and it would work out everything. But I couldn't do that.
"Why are you so persistent?" really, he was getting me on my nerve.
"Just answer my question, Alice Woods. Do you love me? Or have you ever fallen for me?"
"Whether my answer is yes or no, you're engaged now. That won't change anything. So, can't we change the topic?"
"I know, I really really know. I'm engaged and I shouldn't be bothered by that sort of thing. But as your best friend, I wanna know what's actually inside your heart. You always told me about everything, how you got heart break because of Garry, how you fell for other guys, how you got into chaos with your mates, how you and your family was in trouble, and everything. But I never really know you, Al, about your true feeling..."
I gasped. Clueless what to say. He was right. I always told him everything but my feeling. "Why Dave? Why do you wanna know my true feeling?"
He breathed out without a good rhyme. "Because you're my best friend... because I wanna know how much I mean to you."
Dave, you almost made me die with your every question. Couldn't you give me a break? Couldn't you withdraw your question and forget your curiosity?
Ignoring how painful my heart was, I softly said, "Well... I have an offer. I'll answer your curiosity, but before that, you should answer my question as well."
"Geez. Can't you please stop asking question to someone who is asking you?" he increased his tone a bit. Maybe he was exasperated.
"Okay, if you disagree, we must end our conversation right now." I stubbornly said. I did not know since when I had a courage to threat him.
"Wait, hang on!" I knew Dave would surrender. "Okay. What do you want to ask?"
I kept silent a while and said coldly. "The question you asked me previously."
"My question?" he was aghast.
"Yes, Dave. If you asked me how much you mean to me, then I ask you how much I mean to you?"
Dave did not speak. I knew he was in a big surprise. Thought I should clarify what I meant, I promptly said, "Don't worry, Dave. I have no intention to interfere your relationship with her."
Heavily taking a breath, he then said, "I always thought that you were my best friend... I frequently convinced myself that my feeling always stayed the same as time went by..."
"... but I never realized that..." he inhaled. "... you meant something to me until you're gone..."
My heart beat unpleasantly. Easy, Al, easy. You should not be overwhelmed.
"Until we never meet each other..." he continued. "Maybe you've become one of my precious person in my life..."
I tried to hold back my tears from falling since he started a phone call. But really, I could not bear them this time.
Please, Dave, say that you hate me.
Please, Dave, say that I didn't mean anything to you.
Please, Dave, say that I'm just someone in your world.
"Yeah..." he exhaled a long sigh. "I love Renata, but you've made your place in my heart. I don't know how big that is, but I can't never forget your presence,"
I felt like my heart could burst anytime. I felt like I could pass out in any moment. From the deepest of my heart, I was so glad hearing it. I was glad that I wasn't being forgotten by him.
"I'm not good at explaining, but I hope it answers," he said slowly. "Then... your turn, Al,"
Now it was me who trapped in a damn hell. Confessing about my true feeling was contradicting to my personality. I always kept my pride got in me. World knew I never really told about my feeling to anyone and anybody and it would become the end of my world if I eventually said that.
"You're still listening?" my reverie immersed myself. I immediately realized that I should go back to reality.
"Yeah..." I murmured shortly.
It seemed that I was in a life or death match, but it would not risk my life instead of my dignity. I even thought that keeping my dignity high was better than anything. Until I decided...
"Promise me Dave, that won't change anything," I pleaded.
"I promise."
You won now, Dave. I had no option but to kill myself right away. I had no option but to throw away my dignity. I promised myself this would be the first and the last time for me killing out my dignity.
"I..." holding back my breath, I started to speak. " I hate you, Dave."
Again, the silence engulfed us suddenly until Dave said from perplexity, "You hate me?"
"Yeah..." I answered secretively. "I hate you for making me falling for you."
I didn't know how Dave might react after hearing my statement. But I was surely sure he shocked in silence.
"Dave? You're not fainted, right? I'm just kidding, hey! Hod could I possibly fall for my best friend?" I corrected my word with another lie and laughed in sadness.
I heard nothing. Was he angry? Was he happy? Actually what I said before was the truth, but I was not ready to get our friendship broken by destroying it with such non-sense thing.
"Funny, Al!" finally he said a word.
"Hey, you're not angry, are you?"
"I'm not," I could hear him taking a deep breath. "I'm relieved..."
Relieved?
"Don't worry, Dave. I knew from the very first time we began our friendship, you're the one I shouldn't love..." I tried to keep my voice in tone to convince him. "... and since we both made an agreement that we wouldn't be in love each other."
I gulped. How stupid. I never supposed my acting skill this awesome. Apparently I succeed deceiving him.
"Yeah... I'm very relieved. If you said the truth, then I would be in trouble..." he said so softly that only ants could possible heard, but I somehow could hear him.
"In trouble?"
"Oh forgotten. With you cancelling your answer, that means you haven't answered my question yet..."
Sometimes I hated him for always changing topic suddenly, but that's okay now. I did not want to know the rest of his sentence.
"Oh yeah, sorry..." I apologized. Oh God, I should make another confession. You'd better kill me, Dave, than torture me this way.
"You..." I breathed in heavily. "You're one of my precious person in life. My best friend, my best motivator... I somehow can't forget you, even a piece of memory. I'm glad to know you."
At least I didn't tell a lie even I didn't tell the truth either. It took thousand of courageous for saying those kind of words and it seemed my dignity was freely descended.
"Oh and I'm not kidding this time, seriously," I laughed before he said a single word.
"Thanks, Al. Nice to hear that."
Abruptly something came up with my mind, a malicious intent to tease him.
"Dave... what if..." I said.
"Huh?"
"What if I said the truth before?"
"What do you mean?"
"About my joking confession... what if you really had made me falling for you?"
"Ha?"
Yes. What if, Dave? How would you react? You just said you would be in trouble if that happened. Why so? We were both silenced. I knew it would never be easy to tell about one's heart, even it was not love.
"I-..." he said unsure. "... then I would-"
BIP BIP BIP
"The number you are calling is out of reach. Please try again in a few minutes."
"Hey, didn't we just meet yesterday? What do you mean by 'how are you doing'?" I tried to hold back the tears.
"Yeah. Actually... Al, I have one question for you, please answer honestly." he said straightforwardly to the core that made me in a big shock.
I tried to calm myself, slowly inhaled and let the air get into my lungs. I didn't want Dave knew my anxiety. "What is that?"
I could clearly hear him breathing. "What am I to you?"
He asked in a very low tone but that's enough making me got a sudden heart attack. "Y-you're my best friend. It's obvious right?"
"Al, please. I want you to be honest this time. You hate lying person right?"
Suddenly I could feel my head empty. What should I do? What should I say?
"Hey, who was lying? I'm telling you the truth... you are my best friend, not my enemy."
"Yeah, I know you're not lying. But... why don't I feel that way?"
Please my eyes, hold on. "Then, what do you want me to say? You want me to say that I love you? Like that? Oh Dave, you're so childish."
"I know, I totally know that I'm childish. I'm immature or whatever. I just want to know what's inside your heart."
Closing my eyes deliberately, I inhaled as much as I could. About three minutes I did not speak anything but then I opened my mouth. "Okay, well. Just in case you get the answer, what will you do?"
He barely spoke anything for two minutes. "Nothing..."
"Well, case closed. Can we continue our conversation later? I have to go now," again, I lied. Seriously I really wanted this conversation to end.
"Have you ever fallen for me?"
That quick question eventually came out from Dave's mouth. I was aghast but so grateful that he only asked by phone, so he couldn't see my expression.
"Stupid question. Why should I fall for you?" I evaded. I didn't know how long my defense would work.
"You don't answer."
"Dave, can you please stop this joke?"
"I'm not joking. Answer me."
Face palmed. I had no idea what to do. Just pressed the red button and it would work out everything. But I couldn't do that.
"Why are you so persistent?" really, he was getting me on my nerve.
"Just answer my question, Alice Woods. Do you love me? Or have you ever fallen for me?"
"Whether my answer is yes or no, you're engaged now. That won't change anything. So, can't we change the topic?"
"I know, I really really know. I'm engaged and I shouldn't be bothered by that sort of thing. But as your best friend, I wanna know what's actually inside your heart. You always told me about everything, how you got heart break because of Garry, how you fell for other guys, how you got into chaos with your mates, how you and your family was in trouble, and everything. But I never really know you, Al, about your true feeling..."
I gasped. Clueless what to say. He was right. I always told him everything but my feeling. "Why Dave? Why do you wanna know my true feeling?"
He breathed out without a good rhyme. "Because you're my best friend... because I wanna know how much I mean to you."
Dave, you almost made me die with your every question. Couldn't you give me a break? Couldn't you withdraw your question and forget your curiosity?
Ignoring how painful my heart was, I softly said, "Well... I have an offer. I'll answer your curiosity, but before that, you should answer my question as well."
"Geez. Can't you please stop asking question to someone who is asking you?" he increased his tone a bit. Maybe he was exasperated.
"Okay, if you disagree, we must end our conversation right now." I stubbornly said. I did not know since when I had a courage to threat him.
"Wait, hang on!" I knew Dave would surrender. "Okay. What do you want to ask?"
I kept silent a while and said coldly. "The question you asked me previously."
"My question?" he was aghast.
"Yes, Dave. If you asked me how much you mean to me, then I ask you how much I mean to you?"
Dave did not speak. I knew he was in a big surprise. Thought I should clarify what I meant, I promptly said, "Don't worry, Dave. I have no intention to interfere your relationship with her."
Heavily taking a breath, he then said, "I always thought that you were my best friend... I frequently convinced myself that my feeling always stayed the same as time went by..."
"... but I never realized that..." he inhaled. "... you meant something to me until you're gone..."
My heart beat unpleasantly. Easy, Al, easy. You should not be overwhelmed.
"Until we never meet each other..." he continued. "Maybe you've become one of my precious person in my life..."
I tried to hold back my tears from falling since he started a phone call. But really, I could not bear them this time.
Please, Dave, say that you hate me.
Please, Dave, say that I didn't mean anything to you.
Please, Dave, say that I'm just someone in your world.
"Yeah..." he exhaled a long sigh. "I love Renata, but you've made your place in my heart. I don't know how big that is, but I can't never forget your presence,"
I felt like my heart could burst anytime. I felt like I could pass out in any moment. From the deepest of my heart, I was so glad hearing it. I was glad that I wasn't being forgotten by him.
"I'm not good at explaining, but I hope it answers," he said slowly. "Then... your turn, Al,"
Now it was me who trapped in a damn hell. Confessing about my true feeling was contradicting to my personality. I always kept my pride got in me. World knew I never really told about my feeling to anyone and anybody and it would become the end of my world if I eventually said that.
"You're still listening?" my reverie immersed myself. I immediately realized that I should go back to reality.
"Yeah..." I murmured shortly.
It seemed that I was in a life or death match, but it would not risk my life instead of my dignity. I even thought that keeping my dignity high was better than anything. Until I decided...
"Promise me Dave, that won't change anything," I pleaded.
"I promise."
You won now, Dave. I had no option but to kill myself right away. I had no option but to throw away my dignity. I promised myself this would be the first and the last time for me killing out my dignity.
"I..." holding back my breath, I started to speak. " I hate you, Dave."
Again, the silence engulfed us suddenly until Dave said from perplexity, "You hate me?"
"Yeah..." I answered secretively. "I hate you for making me falling for you."
I didn't know how Dave might react after hearing my statement. But I was surely sure he shocked in silence.
"Dave? You're not fainted, right? I'm just kidding, hey! Hod could I possibly fall for my best friend?" I corrected my word with another lie and laughed in sadness.
I heard nothing. Was he angry? Was he happy? Actually what I said before was the truth, but I was not ready to get our friendship broken by destroying it with such non-sense thing.
"Funny, Al!" finally he said a word.
"Hey, you're not angry, are you?"
"I'm not," I could hear him taking a deep breath. "I'm relieved..."
Relieved?
"Don't worry, Dave. I knew from the very first time we began our friendship, you're the one I shouldn't love..." I tried to keep my voice in tone to convince him. "... and since we both made an agreement that we wouldn't be in love each other."
I gulped. How stupid. I never supposed my acting skill this awesome. Apparently I succeed deceiving him.
"Yeah... I'm very relieved. If you said the truth, then I would be in trouble..." he said so softly that only ants could possible heard, but I somehow could hear him.
"In trouble?"
"Oh forgotten. With you cancelling your answer, that means you haven't answered my question yet..."
Sometimes I hated him for always changing topic suddenly, but that's okay now. I did not want to know the rest of his sentence.
"Oh yeah, sorry..." I apologized. Oh God, I should make another confession. You'd better kill me, Dave, than torture me this way.
"You..." I breathed in heavily. "You're one of my precious person in life. My best friend, my best motivator... I somehow can't forget you, even a piece of memory. I'm glad to know you."
At least I didn't tell a lie even I didn't tell the truth either. It took thousand of courageous for saying those kind of words and it seemed my dignity was freely descended.
"Oh and I'm not kidding this time, seriously," I laughed before he said a single word.
"Thanks, Al. Nice to hear that."
Abruptly something came up with my mind, a malicious intent to tease him.
"Dave... what if..." I said.
"Huh?"
"What if I said the truth before?"
"What do you mean?"
"About my joking confession... what if you really had made me falling for you?"
"Ha?"
Yes. What if, Dave? How would you react? You just said you would be in trouble if that happened. Why so? We were both silenced. I knew it would never be easy to tell about one's heart, even it was not love.
"I-..." he said unsure. "... then I would-"
BIP BIP BIP
"The number you are calling is out of reach. Please try again in a few minutes."
- THE END -
It's very clear that Alice loves Dave :)
ReplyDeleteAnd how about Dave?
That's kinda obvious right?
ReplyDeleteHe had a fiancée, so there's no way he could fall for Alice. Poor Alice :(
But you have to wait until it's finished! ;)
Maybe he loves Alice but never found the courage to say it :)
ReplyDeleteKyaahahahaha..
ReplyDeleteYou should really watch "My Bestfriend's Wedding".
"Love actually", that movie :)
ReplyDelete